*To be a good surgeon you have to think like a surgeon. Emotions are messy. Tuck them neatly away and step into a clean, sterile room where the procedure is simple. Cut, suture and close. But sometimes you're faced with a cut that won't heal. A cut that rips its stitches wide open.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*They say practice makes perfect. Theory is, the more you think like a surgeon, the more you become one. The better you get at remaining neutral... clinical. Cut, suture, close. And the harder it becomes to turn it off. To stop thinking like a surgeon, and remember what it means to think like a human being.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*You were like coming up for fresh air. It was like I was drowning and you saved me... that's all I know.* -- Derek
I have an aunt who, whenever she poured anything for you, would say, "Say when." My aunt would say, "Say when," and of course, we never did. We don't say 'when' because there's something about the possibility of more. More tequila, more love, more anything. More is better.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
There's something to be said about a glass half full. About knowing when to say 'when.' I think it's a floating line. A barometer of need and desire. It's entirely up to the individual and depends on what's being poured. Sometimes all we want is a taste. Other times, there's no such thing as enough. The glass is bottomless, and all we want is more.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*Surgeons are control freaks. With a scalpel in your hand you feel unstoppable. There's no fear, there's no pain. You're ten feet tall and bullet proof. And then you leave the OR, and all that perfection, all that beautiful control just falls to crap.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*It's just, you think you know someone. You know who they are. You share a house, or make wishes on eyelashes with them. And we don't know each other... none of us.* -- Izzie
*Hating you is the most exhausting. I don't want to do it anymore.* -- Meredith (to Derek)
*No one likes to lose control, but as a surgeon there's nothing worse. It's a sign of weakness, of not being up to the task. And still, there are times when it just gets away from you. When the world stops spinning and you realize that your shiny little scalpel isn't going to save you. No matter how hard you fight it, you fail. And it's scary as hell, except if there's an upside to free falling, it's the chance you give your friends to catch you.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*The key to surviving a surgical internship is denial. We deny that we're tired, we deny that we're scared, we deny how badly we want to succeed. And most importantly, we deny that we're in denial. We only see what we want to see and believe what we want to believe... and it works. We lie to ourselves so much that after a while, the lies start to seem like the truth. We deny so much that we can't recognize the truth right in front of our faces.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon, we can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired. We are scared. Denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world, head on, guns blazing. Denial. It's not just a river in Egypt, it's a freaking ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*Pain comes in all forms. The small twinge, a bit of soreness, the random pain. The normal pains we live with every day. Then there's the kind of pain we can't ignore. A level of pain so great that it blocks out everything else. Makes the rest of the world fade away, until all we can think about is how much we hurt. How we manage our pain is up to us. Pain. We anesthetize it, ride it out, embrace it, ignore it... and for some of us, the best way to manage pain it to just push through it.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*I love you in a really, really big, pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me... choose me... love ME!* -- Meredith to Derek
*Pain. You just have to ride it out. Hope it goes away on its own. Hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers. You just breathe deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed, but sometimes the pain gets you when you least expect it. Hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain. You just have to fight through, because the truth is, you can't outrun it. And life always makes more.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*In general people can be categorized in one of two ways; those who love surprises and those who don't. I don't. I've never met a surgeon that enjoys a surprise, because as surgeons we like to be in the know. We have to be in the know. Because when we aren't, people die and lawsuits happen. Am I rambling? I think I'm rambling. Okay, so my point actually, and I do have one, has nothing to do with surprises, or death or lawsuits or even surgeons. My point is this; whoever said, 'what you don't know can't hurt you', was a complete and total moron. Because for most people I know, not knowing is the worst feeling in the world.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*You who pretend to be my friends are calling me pathetic, behind my back, in front of my face. Why don't you just dump the pig's blood on me now and get it over with!?* -- Meredith
*As surgeons, there are so many things we have to know. We have to know we have what it takes. We have to know how to take care of our patients. And how to take care of each other. Eventually we even have to figure out how to take care of ourselves. As surgeons, we have to be in the know, but as human beings, sometimes it's better to stay in the dark, because in the dark there may be fear... but there's always hope.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*Communication. It's the firts thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words, and really start talking, the harder it becomes to know what to say or how to ask for what we really need.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*For a kiss to be real good, you want it to mean something. So that when your lips finally touch, you feel it everywhere. A kiss so hot and so deep you never want to come up for air. You can't cheat your first kiss... trust me you don't want to. Cause when you find that right person, a first kiss is everything.* -- Alex
*At the end of the day there are some things you just can't help but talk about. Some things we just don't want to hear. And some things we say because we can't be silent any longer. Some things are more that what you say... they're what you do. Some things you say because there's no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself. And not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*In the eight grade my english class had to read Romeo and Juliet. Then, for extra credit, Mrs. Snyder made us act out all the parts. Sal Scafarillo was Romeo. As fate would have it, I was Juliet. All the other girls were jealous, but I had a slightly different take. I told Mrs. Snyder that Juliet was an idiot. For starters, she falls for the one guy she knows she can't have. Then she blames fate for her own bad decisions. Mrs. Snyder explained to me that when fate comes into play, choice sometimes goes out the window. At the ripe old age of 13, I was very clear, that love, like life, is about making choices. And fate has nothing to do with it. Everyone thinks it's so romantic... Romeo and Juliet... true love. How sad. If Juliet was stupid enough to fall for the enemy, drink a bottle of poison and go to sleep in a mausoleum... she deserved whatever she got.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*Mrs. Synder said that I'd be lucky if I ever had that kind of passion for someone, and that if I did, we'd be together forever. Even now, I believe that for the most part, love is about choices. It's about putting down the poison and the dagger and making your own happy ending... most of the time. And that sometimes, despite all your best choices and all your best intentions, fate wins anyway.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*Appreciation. Giving thanks. No matter what words you use, it all means the same thing. Happy. We're supposed to be happy, grateful... for friends, family... happy to just be alive, whether we like it or not.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*You have a life, you go to sleep and you wake up and that life doesn't exist anymore. That man has no one. Everyone's moved on except for him... that's not an easy thing.* -- Meredith (on a patient who'd woken up after being in a coma for years)
*Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day the fact that we have the courage to still be standing, is reason enough to celebrate.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*When you were a kid it was Halloween candy. You hid it from your parents and ate it til you got sick. In college it was the heavy combo of youth, tequila and well... you know. As a surgeon, you take as much of the good as you can get, because it doesn't come around nearly as often as it should. Cause good things aren't always what they seem. Too much of anything, even love, is not always a good thing.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*How do you know how much is too much? Too much too soon. Too much information. Too much fun. Too much love. Too much to ask. And when is it all just too much to bare?* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*Forty years ago the Beatles asked the world a simple question. They wanted to know where all the lonely people come from. My latest theory is that a great many of the lonely people came from hospitals. More precisely, the surgical wing of hospitals. As surgeons we ignore our own needs so we can meet our patients' needs. We ignore our friends and familes so that we can save other people's friends and families, which means that at the end of the day all we really have is ourselves. And nothing in this world can make you feel more alone than that.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*400 years ago another English guy had an opinion about being alone. John Donne. He thought we were never alone. Of course, it was fancier when he said it. "No man is an island entire unto himself." Boil down that island talk and he just meant that all anyone needs is someone to step in and let us know we're not alone...* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*It's an urban myth that suicide rates spike at the holidays. Turns out they actually go down. Experts think it's because people are less inclined to off themselves when surrounded by family. Ironically that same family togetherness is thought to be the reason depression rates do spike at the holidays.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*Because that's what Jesus would FREAKIN' do!!* -- Izzie
*There's an old proverb that says, "You can't choose your family." You take what the fates hand you and like them or not, love them or not... understand them or not, you cope. Then there's the school of thought that says the family you're born into is simply a starting point. They feed you and clothe you and take care of you until you're ready to go out into the world and find your tribe.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*Fresh starts. Thanks to the calender they happen every year. Just set your watch to January. Our reward for surviving the holiday season is a new year. Bringing on the great tradition of new year's resolutions. Put your past behind you and start over. It's hard to resist the chance at a new beginning. The chance to put the problems of last year to bed.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*Who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? It's not a day on a calender. Not a birthday, not a new year. It's an event, big or small, something that changes us. Ideally it gives us hope. A new way of living and looking at the world. Letting go of old habits, old memories. What's important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning. But it's also important to remember, that amid all the crap are a few things worth really holding onto.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*As doctors we're trained to be skeptical, because our patients lie to us all the time. The rule is; every patient is a liar until proven honest. Lying is bad - or so we're told, constantly, from birth. Honesty is the best policy. The truth shall set you free. I chopped down the cherry tree. Whatever. The fact is, lying is a necessity. We lie to ourselves because the truth... the truth freaking hurts.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*You don't get to choose. I know you've been going through a bad time... and I know that your life has been admittedly pretty unpleasant these days. You get points for breathing in and out. You get to be a little selfish. But you don't get to choose a dog over me. I sleep down the hall from you. I buy you tampons. I have held your hand every time you've asked. I've earned the right to be seen, to be respected, to not have you think of me as less than a dog that you got at the pound.* -- George (to Meredith)
*No matter how hard we try to ignore it or deny it, eventually the lies fall away... whether we like it or not. But here's the truth about the truth. It hurts. So we lie.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*In surgery there is a red line on the floor that marks the point where the hospital goes from being accessible to being off limits to all but a special few. Crossing the line unauthorized is not tolerated. In general, lines are there for a reason. For safety. For security. For clarity. If you choose to cross the line you pretty much do so at your own risk. So why is it, that the bigger the line, the greater the temptation to cross it?* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*We can't help ourselves. We see a line, we want to cross it. Maybe it's the thrill of trading the familiar for the unfamiliar. A sort of personal dare. Only problem is... once you've crossed, it's almost impossible to go back. But if you do manage to make it back across that line, you find safety in numbers.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*It's a look patients get in their eyes. There's a scent, the smell of death. Some kind of sixth sense. When the great beyond is headed for you... you feel it coming.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*Do you know I can't remember the last time we kissed? Cause you never think the last time is the last time. You think there'll be more. You think you have forever, but you don't... I just... I just need something to happen. I need a sign that things are gonna change. I need a reason to go on. I need some hope. And in the absence of hope, I need to stay in bed and feel like I might die today.* -- Meredith (to Christina)
*In hosptials they say you know. You know when you're going to die. Some doctors say it's a look patients get in their eyes. Some say there's a scent, the smell of death. Some think there's some kind of sixth sense. When the great beyond is heading for you, you feel it coming. Whatever it is, it's creepy. Because if you know, what do you do about it? Forget about the fact that you're scared out of your mind. If you knew this was your last day on Earth, how would you want to spend it?* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*You know in the movies how there's always the hero and then there's the other guy? You know the guy who sees the danger and runs in the opposite direction?... Be the other guy.* -- Christina (to Burke)
*I'm a coward. I ran away. You think you're gonna be different. You think you're gonna be the kind of person who stays and does something. You know, a good man in the storm... I ran away...* -- Hannah (the paramedic)
*Look at me. I know this is bad. And I know that I'm this ass who's been yelling at you all day. So you pretend that I'm not. You pretend that I'm someone you like. Whatever you need. But you need to listen to me...* -- Dylan Young (Bomb Squad hottie)
*It was a Thursday morning. You were wearing that ratty little Dartmouth t-shirt you look so good in. The one with the hole in the back of the neck. You'd just washed you hair and you smelled like some kind of flower. I was running late for surgery. You said you were gonna see me later. Then you leaned in to me. You put your hand on my chest and you kissed me. Soft. It was quick, kind of like a habit. You know, like we'd do it every day for the rest of our lives. You went back to reading the newspaper and I went to work. That was the last time we kissed.* -- Derek (to Meredith)
*After careful consideration and many sleepless nights, here's what I've decided. There's no such thing as a grown-up. We move on, we move out, we move away from our families and form our own. But the basic insecurities, the basic fears and all those old wounds just grow up with us... We get bigger, we get taller, we get older. But for the most part we're still just a bunch of kids, running around the playground, trying desperately to fit in.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*Mom... I almost died when I was 10 years old. And then again when I was 12, and then again last year. But... but I'm still alive... I'm still alive so I say we go for it. Look I know you think I'm perfect just the way I am, but... that's your job to do that. For once in my life I'd like to think that someone else though that.* -- Jake
*I've heard that it's possible to grow up. I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things don't go our way. We whisper secrets with our best friends in the dark. We look for comfort where we can find it. And we hope, against all logic, against all experience. Like children, we never give up hope. -- Meredith (voiceover)
*Ok, so sometimes even the best of us make rash decisions. Bad decisions. Decisions we pretty much know we're gonna regret the moment... the minute especially... the morning after. I mean, maybe not 'regret' regret, because at least, you know, we put ourselves out there. But still, something inside us decides to do a crazy thing, a thing we know will probably turn around and bite us in the ass. Yet... we do it anyway. What I'm saying is... we reap what we sow. What comes around goes around. It's karma, and, anyway you slice it... karma sucks.* -- George (voiceover)
*If you want crappy things to stop happening to you then stop accepting crap and start demanding more!* -- Christina
*One way or another, our karma will leave us to face ourselves. We can look our karma in the eye or we can wait for it to sneak up on us from behind. One way or another our karma will always find us. And the truth is, as surgeons, we have more chances than most to set the balance in our favor. No matter how hard we try, we can't escape our karma. It follows us home. I guess we can't really complain about karma. It's not unfair, it's not unexpected... it just evens the score. And even when we're about to do something we know will tempt karma to bite us in the ass... well it goes without saying. We do it anyway.* -- George (voiceover)
*As doctors, patients are always telling us how the would do our jobs. "Just stitch me up, slap a band-aid on it and send me home." It's easy to suggest a quick solution when you don't know much about the problem... when you don't understand the underlying cause, or just how deep the wound really is. The first step toward a real cure is to know exactly what the disease is to begin with. But that's not what people want to hear. We're supposed to ignore the past that led us here, ignore the future complications that might arise, and go for the quick fix.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*As doctors, as friends, as human beings, we all try to do the best we can. But the world is full of unexpected twists and turns. And just when you've gotten the lay of the land, the ground underneath you shifts and knocks you off your feet. If you're lucky, you end up with nothing more than a flesh wound... something a band-aid will cover. But some wounds are deeper than they first appear and require more than just a quick fix. With some wounds, you have to rip off the band-aid, let them breathe, and give them time to heal.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*My college has a magic statue. It's a long standing tradition for students to rub its nose for good luck. My freshman roomate really believed in that statue's power and insisted on visiting it to rub its nose before every exam. Studying might have been a better idea. She flunked out sophomore year. But the fact is, we all have little supersitious things that we do. If it's not believing in magic statues, it's avoiding sidewalk cracks, or always putting our left shoe on first. Knock on wood. Step on a crack, break your mother's back. The last thing we want to do is offend the gods.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*Superstition lies is the space between what we can control and what we can't. Find a penny, pick it up, and all day long you'll have good luck. No one wants to pass up a chance for good luck. But does saying it 33 times really help? Is anyone really listening? And if no one's listening, why do we bother doing those strange things at all? We rely on superstitions because we're smart enough to know we don't have all the answers. And that life works in mysterious ways. Don't dis the juju, from wherever it comes.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*A good basketball game can have us on the edge of our seats. Games are all about the glory, the pain and the play-by-play. And then there are more solitary games. The games we each play by ourselves. The social games, the mind games, we use them to pass the time. To make life more interesting. To distract us from what's really going on. There are those of us who love to play games. Any game. And there are those of us who love to play, a little too much.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*I'm practicing celibacy, and drinking does not go well with celibacy because it makes everything and everyone seem kind of porny. And then my head gets all cloudy and the next thign you know, I'm naked. And my point is... I'm celibate.* -- Meredith
*Life is not a spectator sport. Win, lose or draw the game is in progress whether we want it to be or not. So go ahead, argue with the refs... change the rules... cheat a little. Take a break and tend to your wounds. But play. PLAY. Play hard, play fast. Play loose and free. Play as if there's no tomorrow. Ok... so it's not whether you win or lose... it's how you play the game. Right?* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*The key to being a successful intern is what we give up. Sleep, friends, a normal life. We sacrifice it all for that one amazing moment. That moment when you can legally call yourself a surgeon. There are days that make the sacrifice seem worthwhile. And then, there are days when everything feels like a sacrifice. And then there are sacrifices that you can't even figure out why you're making. -- Meredith (voiceover)
*The things is, I was healthy my whole life til I wasn't. And for the last year I've had a lot of time to lay around in bed and think about my life. And things that I remember best? Well, those are the things that I wasn't supposed to do and I did 'em anyway. The thing is... life is too damn short to be following these rules.* -- Denny (to Izzie)
*A wise man once said, "You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it." What he meant is, "Nothing comes without a price." So before you go into battle you'd better decide how much you're willing to lose. Too often, going after what feels good means letting go of what you know is right. And letting someone in means abandoning the walls you spent a lifetime building. Of course the toughest sacrifices are the ones you don't see coming, when we don't have time to come up with a strategy, to pick a side, or to measure the potential loss. When that happens... when the battle chooses us and not the other way around, that's when the sacrifice can turn out to be more than we can bare.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*We all go through life like bulls in a china shop. A chip here, a crack there. Doing damage to ourselves... to other people. The problem is trying to figure out how to control the damage we have done. Or that's been done to us. Sometimes the damage catches us by surprise. Sometimes we think we can fix the damage. And sometimes the damage is something we can't even see.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*We're all damaged it seems. Some of us more than others. We carry the damage with us from childhood. Then, as grown-ups we give as good as we get. Ultimately, we all do damage and then, we set about the business of fixing whatever we can.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*In life we are taught that there are seven deadly sins. We all know the big ones -- gluttony, pride, lust... But the sin you don't hear much about is anger. Maybe it's because we think anger's not that dangerous. That we can control it. My point is, maybe we don't give anger enough credit. Maybe it can be a lot more dangerous than we think. After all, when it comes to destructive behavior... it did make the top seven.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*So what makes anger different from the six other deadly sins? It's pretty simple really. You give into a sin like envy or pride and you only hurt yourself. Try lust or coveting and you'll only hurt yourself and probably one or two others. But anger... anger is the worst. The mother of all sins. Not only can anger drive you over the edge. When it does, you can take an awful lot of other people with you.* -- Meredith (voiceover)
*Human beings need a lot of things to feel alive. Family. Love. Sex. But we only need one thing to actually be alive. We need a beating heart. When our heart is threatened, we respond in one of two ways. We either run... or... we attack. There's a scientific term for this; "fight or flight". It's instinct. We can't control it. Or can we?* Mixed Cast (voiceover)
